I said leading a conversation in the title, not dominating it. We need to be clear because I have not met anyone yet that likes to be bullied into a way of thinking. So for all pushy sales professionals out there...... sorry.
The first part of leading a conversation is Matching. When someone enters our world with us and attempts to feel how we are feeling there is an immediate connection. Great speakers and conversationalists do this without thinking. They match their audience and become part of their world building trust and acceptance into the tribe.
The first step is to match the tone, intensity, and general feeling of your audience and it might go something like this;
Bob - Can you believe that jerk at the bank, he does not understand what I am going through! (said with anger and intensity)
Me - What is wrong with him, if he only had a chance to feel one ounce of what you might be going through!(said with intensity and less anger)
Bob is not ready to come out of his state of anger but needs a companion to empathize and match his particular feelings. Even though we might not feel that way on a regular basis, we need to have our feelings confirmed before we can ever move on. Remember this is step one of a three step process so we are not ready to lead Bob from anger to a different way of thinking. Once you and Bob have been in the state together and you have open dialog about the jerk at the bank you are ready to move onto step 2 Pacing.
Stay tuned for the next part tomorrow.
How often do you feel you are not listened to (Constantly, Sometimes, Never)?
Leave a reply in the comment section.
Pass this onto your friends it might get them to start matching you!
Your friends are your friends because they get YOU
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